I don't want to love
by J.S-chan
Summary: Deidara gets rejected by Sasori, who moves, and the blonde promises himself not to love again. But what happens when they meet five years later, without recognizing each other? WARNING: Bad language!
1. Chapter 1

_There was ones a boy, a ten years old one, and his name was Deidara. He really, really liked his best friend, but he didn't tell him, it was his own little secret. But one day, when he was eleven, the feelings had grown stronger and it was hard to keep them silent inside of him. He didn't know what to do, it hurt so badly. Every time he was with his friend he couldn't resist looking at his smile and the eyes, listening to the kind voice, and every time the terrible feelings got stronger. So, one day, Deidara had finally decided to tell his friend. _

_It had been the end of May, the Sakura trees had grown tall and beautiful, and the pink blades had fallen down, landing on the white, gray stone path. The two boys had stood opposite to each other, both of them quite nervous, because they both had something important to tell each other._

"_What did you want to tell me?" the friend had asked._

_Somehow it was decided that Deidara would talk first._

"_Ehm… S-sasori no Dan-na" Deidara had stuttered, not looking at his friend "I… I…"_

_The friend called Sasori didn't like to wait, so this had made him pretty annoyed._

"_Come on Brat, tell me" he had said, trying to sound so nice he could._

"_I… I lo…"_

"_Just say it already!"_

"_I love you…"_

_It came out as a whisper, and Deidara didn't know if Sasori had heard him. But when he had looked up and seen the shocked look on his friends face, he knew he had. At first no one said a thing, or did anything. But after a while, Sasoris face had turned from choked to a blank expression, but it had also looked like he was… angry and sad. And then he had turned away._

"_Danna?"_

_Deidara watched as Sasori walked away without a word._

"_Danna! Where are you going?" he had yelled after his friend._

_He had started to run after him, but Sasori had also start to run. Deidara had no chance, his friend was faster than him, and he knew it. When he no longer could see Sasori, he stopped. _

_It was silent. There was nothing that made any sound._

"_Danna…"_

_Deidara had felt the tears falling down from his cheeks. His vision had become blurred as he sat down on the stone path._

"_D-dan…na…"_

_He cried. _

_The only thing that could be heard was the eleven years old boy, who had his heart broken by his first love, his best friend. _

* * *

><p><em>It was Friday that day, and when the weekend came, the two boys didn't see each other once. When it became Monday, Deidara sat in the classroom, nervously waiting for Sasori to show up. But he didn't. The whole day Deidara had waited for Sasori but he never came. He had decided to ask his teacher where he was.<em>

"_Suzuki Sasori? He didn't tell you?"_

"_Tell me what?"_

"_That he was moving."_

"…_What?"_

_Deidara had stared at the teacher with big, choked eyes. He had moved?_

"_When..? Where?" Deidara had asked upset._

"_I think they moved yesterday, but where I don't know."_

_Deidara had left right after that. He had walked to the bathroom and looked in to the mirror over the sink._

"_Did he move because of me? Is it my fault? Did he move because I told him I love him?"_

_He had started to cry again, while falling to his knees._

"_I-I'm sorry Saso-ori, I'm sorry for lov-ving you" he had whispered to himself as he covered his face in his hands "I won't do it again, I promise! I won't fall in love again!"_

* * *

><p>I'm done with the prologue, or what it's called! It was really difficult to write in… past tense? I guess there is a lot of errors, but I tried my best ^^ I wish I could make a doujinshi out of this instead, because it would be much easier and better, but I'm not that good at drawing T-T<p>

I just want to say that I have no idea when Sakura trees are blooming … And I know that Sasoris last name isn't Suzuki, but you will understand later why I wrote it like that. If you even want me to continue… Please review if you would like to read more^^


	2. Chapter 2

**Five years later**

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

"Deidara honey, it's time to wake up" a kind voice says from the other side of the wooden door.

"I know mom" Deidara answers tiredly as he stares at the clock.

06.50. He frowns. He hates to wake up this early in the morning. Stupid school, it should be illegal to wake up this time at the day.

"Deidara, if you don't get up now I'm coming in" his mom says threatening.

"I'M UP!" Deidara yells.

He sits up in the bed and yawns, stretching his arms up in the air. The blue visible eye that's not covered by a blonde bang is searching through the room, looking for the clothes he decided to wear today. When he finds them on the floor next to his desk he picks them up and starts to change. After that, he goes to the bathroom and brushes his teeth and combs his hair that he sets up in a ponytail. When that's done he walks towards the kitchen, where his mom is sitting and drinking coffee. She gives her son a bright smile.

"Are you excited for today?" she asks kindly.

Deidara only shakes his head. He's not. The thought of changing school had scared him ever since he was a little kid, but he never thought that day would actually come. Well, he knew he needed to change school when he would enter the 7th grade but that didn't matter to him, because that school would be in the same city, the same country, and he would know most of the kids in the new school. Now that he had moved, everything was new. And to go to a school where he knows no one in a town where he knows no one in a country where he knows no one, is kind of scary.

"I know you don't like this" his mom says with a soft voice "but we both need this. Our last home had too many memories, and it did only hurt us."

Deidara looks down on the floor, trying not to cry. He always does when his mom talks about it, that terrible incident that made his small family even smaller.

"Oh, but look at the clock, it's time to go now" his mom says hurried and stands up.

She walks out to the hallway and starts to put on her shoes. Deidara does like his mom, putting on his shoes and a jacket. When they both are done they leave the house, heading for the car.

* * *

><p>"I could give you a ride to school every day you know" Deidaras mom says and smiles.<p>

"It's ok, I can walk" Deidara mumbles back.

He looks out the window, seeing lots of teenagers in his age walking on the streets, probably going to school just like him.

"Well, just tell me if you want a ride" his mom says as she slowing down the car.

She stops. At first Deidara doesn't understand why, but then he sees a big, red building, surrounded by grass, having stone paths going right through, tall trees and random teenagers. It's his new school.

"It looks beautiful, don't you think honey?" his mom asks in awe.

Deidara only sighs. He gets out of the car and before he closes the door he turns around to his mom.

"You pick me up later?"

"Of course! Bye honey!"

"Bye."

Deidara closes the door and his mom drives away.

"Well then, I guess I'm all alone now" he says to himself as he enters the schoolyard.

* * *

><p>When you watch a movie where a kid is new at school, everyone is staring at him or her like he or she would come from space or something. Deidara had always thought it would be like that. He had wrong. No one looks at him, no one shows interest in him, it's like he doesn't exist. Sure, he didn't like the thought of having thousands of eyes staring at him, but it's kind of annoying to be treated like air.<p>

"I wonder if anyone would help me find the way to my classroom if I asked" Deidara mumbles to himself as he walks through the big hallway.

It's students everywhere. Sitting on their lockers, talking to their friends, laughing and texting on their cell phones.

"I guess I would just interrupt them if I asked."

He looks down, staring at the gray floor as he walks. Not very smart, because suddenly he walks right into someone. Quickly, he looks up and sees a guy with long black hair and red eyes, with black lines under them going the whole way down his cheeks. He doesn't really show any emotions. They stare at each other without saying anything, until Deidara can't handle the awkward silence and breaks it.

"Ehm, hey… I'm Deidara and I'm new here" he says, trying to sound as friendly as possible "eh, I don't know where I'm supposed to go..."

"What's the name of your class?" the black haired teen asks with a low, monotone voice.

"I'm in the art class" Deidara answers, feeling uncomfortable near the other guy.

"Hm, that's my class" he says, still with the same monotone voice.

"Of course…" Deidara mumbles.

"If you follow me I will take you to our classroom" the taller guy says and walks away.

Deidara sighs and follows him. He really hopes that the others in his class aren't like this guy. It feels kind of difficult to talk to him and he's scary. When he looks at you it feels like he can see right through you.

* * *

><p>They don't need to walk very far before they reach the classroom. The black haired guy opens the door and the most fantastic room Deidara ever seen in a school appears. Paintings are hanging and leaning against the walls, clay sculptures are standing on the tables together with tree figures that are lying down. The room is bright and the people in there seem to be so happy. Deidara smiles and his eyes sparkle. He never though a school could have such an awesome room.<p>

"Wow, I love this room" he says impressed and looks at the black haired teen beside him "thanks for the help... ehm.., you never told me your name…"

"It's because you never asked."

"Well.., what's your name then?"

"Itachi."

"Okay, thank you… now I know…" Deidara says, not really knowing what else he's supposed to say.

Again, there is an awkward silence between them, but it doesn't last for long. Itachi looks down at Deidara, making the blonde once again feel uncomfortable.

"W-what is it?"

"Would you like to meet my friends?"

Deidara blinks several times, staring at the taller teen with a surprised expression.

"…Why?"

"I like you and I think the others would to" is the answer the blonde gets.

On the outside the blonde smiles and looks happy, but on the inside he's scared. What if the others are like Itachi? The though isn't really appealing.

"They are sitting over there" Itachi says and points at a group of laughing and talking teenagers surrounding a table furthest in the room.

He walks towards them with Deidara right behind him.

"Hey guys" he says, still not changing the tone in his voice.

"Itachi! Hey!" a guy with blue, spiky hair greets.

His eyes are small and the skin is pale, almost turning blue. Even if he looks scary, Deidara thinks he seems to be a nice guy.

"Where have you been?" another guy with long brown hair and green eyes asks with a dark voice.

Itachi points at Deidara and it's like no one noticed him until now. Everyone stares at him like he would be an animal at the zoo, which makes the blonde nervous.

"Who is this?" the blue guy asks.

Itachi nods to Deidara like he is giving the smaller boy permission to talk.

"M-my name is Deidara…" he answers shyly.

"Deidara you say" a guy with white hair and light purple eyes says as he leans over the table, his gray necklace rattle against it "Cute name. Nice to fucking meet you! I'm Hidan."

Deidara waves shyly with his hand and says hi.

"Well, this blue guy is Kisame, next to me with the brown hair is Kakuzu and the guy on my other side with the orange hair is Pain."

The guy named Pain has a lot of piercings, which Deidara can't stop staring at. He never thought you could have so many in the head area and still look good.

"The girl besides Kisame with the blue-purple hair is Konan, Pains girlfriend, so don't even think of touching her" Hidan says threatening, but then he laughs, ignoring Pains glare "Okay, moving on… The guy next to her with the short black hair is Tobi, a really weird guy, but don't mock him. He's a relative to Itachi and trust me, you don't want to get in a fight with him. The guy with green hair and black and white skin is Zetsu. He was in a chemistry accident as a kid and that's why his skin has two colors. And then we have the redhead on the edge of the table.., and he is sleeping..!"

Everyone turns around to look at the sleeping teen.

"Hey, can someone wake that stupid puppet maniac?" Hidan asks irritated.

"Yo, wake up" Zetsu says as he shakes the redhead by the shoulders.

The eyes of the sleeping teen, which apparently are glossy brown, are slowly going up and he yawns loudly.

"What is it?" he asks tiredly.

"You need to say hello to our new friend!" Tobi says happily, almost jumping up and down as he points at Deidara.

The redheads' eyes travel to the other side of the table where the blonde is standing. They get eye contact and for some seconds they are only staring at each other.

"Well, aren't you going to introduce yourself?" Pain asks, as if the redhead would be ill-mannered.

"I know that" the no longer sleeping teen states.

He closes his eyes, coughs once in his fist and then he looks back at the blonde, with a big, warm smile on his lips.

"Hey" he says with a soft voice, not sounding tired anymore "I'm Sasori."

* * *

><p>I must say that I actually got bored when I wrote this chapter. I thought it was so boring -_-" But I did it, I succeeded to end it! XD I discovered that it is kind of hard to write serious scenes when you listen to happy music… Anyway, I'm sorry for any mistakes and please tell me what you think of this chapter and we will see if I do more^^<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

**I ****just ****want ****to ****say ****that** _these __kinds __of __texts _**are ****flashbacks. ****Just ****so ****you ****know****…**

* * *

><p>Sasori…<p>

Hearing that name makes it hurt inside of Deidara. Memories are trying to take over his thoughts, trying to show him one of the most terrible days of his life. But he fights against them. He don't want to see that day, he don't want to remember it.

"Hi Sasori…"

Just saying that name makes it hurt everywhere. Deidara needs to bit his bottom lip so he won't start to cry.

"…I'm Deidara."

For just a mere second you could see Sasori flinch, but no one seems to notice it.

"…Nice to meet you, Deidara" he says kindly.

Both of the teen's smiles at each other like nothing would bother them.

"God morning class!" an old but manly voice greets loudly.

Everyone in the room becomes quiet and turns around at the same time and looks forward. At the front of the classroom stands a short, old man with a white mustache and beard and a big, red nose. His eyebrows are thick and the top of his head is completely bald, but he has long hair, that's also white, on the lower-half of his head, which is tied with a yellow ribbon into a topknot.

"Who's that?" Deidara asks almost like a whisper.

"His name is Ōnoki and he's our art teacher" Itachi says, with the same irritating monotone voice "and he's also our principal."

"WHAT! He's a teacher and the principal?"

"Yes, he though no one was good enough to tech about art so he decided to do it himself."

"Itachi, I would like to start now, so if you're done talking…" the man named Ōnoki says and shows with his hand that he wants the black haired teen to sit.

"I'm sorry, Sensei."

Itachi sits down immediately beside Kisame, leaving Deidara to be the only one standing. He can feel the old man's gaze and it makes him really uncomfortable.

"And who are you?" Ōnoki asks as he keeps staring at Deidara, trying to recognize him.

"Uhm, I'm Deidara" the blonde answers shyly "and I'm new here."

It appears a big smile on Ōnokis face and then he starts to laugh.

"Oh yeah, that's right! You're the new kid" he says while he's laughing "That's why I couldn't recognize you. Well then, welcome, Deidara. It's nice to meet you."

"Thank you" Deidara says, smiling back.

"How about you introduce yourself for the class while you are standing up?" the old man suggests "You could tell us what you like and dislike and stuff like that"

"Okay, I guess I could" the blonde agrees, as he starts to wonder what he should say "Well, like everyone probably knows my name is Deidara and I'm sixteen years old. I'm born in May... My favorite food is bakudan and the worst food I know is mixed rice pilaf... My biggest interest is art."

"What kind of art?" Ōnoki asks.

"Sculptures" Deidara answers fast "I like to mold with clay."

"That's great."

"And then they explode!"

"...What?"

"Yeah, after I'm done with the sculptures I'll make them explode!"

"...Why?"

"Fine art is the beauty of that single fleeting moment of explosion."

"...I see..."

It becomes silent in the room and everyone stares at Deidara. But the blonde doesn't care about that, as long as he can talk about his art its okay for the others to stare how much they want.

"Are you stupid or what?"

Everyone in the room turn their gaze to the one who spoke. Everyone have their eyes on Sasori.

"How can you say that destroying your sculptures is art?" he asks harsh, not sounding very friendly anymore as his hands hit the table loudly.

Deidara is kind of shocked that the redhead acts like this. What happened to Mr. Nice guy?

"How can you call that art?"

...What...

"_How can you call that art?"_

Deidara stares at Sasori.

'It's the same' he thinks, his eyes becoming larger as the sadness once again fills him 'like that day...'

"_Hi..,__what__are__you__doing?__"_

"_Art!"_

"_But everything is exploding and disappearing..."_

"_Yeah, that's my art!"_

"_Brat! How can you call that art?"_

Deidara spaces out, staring at nothing when he remembers that day. He had forgotten, when they first meet, he and...

"AKASUNA!"

Deidara breaks from his thoughts and shakes his head in surprise. Was it the old man who yelled? Who was he yelling at? Who is Akasuna? Looking at the old man and following his stare leads him to Sasori, who looks angry but slightly calmer.

"I'm sorry, Ōnoki-sensei" he says, trying not to sound irritated.

The redhead sits down slowly, glaring at Deidara.

"In this classroom we accept all different views of art, no matter what" Ōnoki says, speaking to everyone, although his eyes never leave Sasori "If you can't accept another ones opinion, you can't stay in this class. Is that clear?"

Everyone in the classroom nods and agrees, besides Sasori who still stares at Deidara. The blonde stares back, but not in anger or sadness.

'That's not the same' he thinks, lowering his gaze 'Akasuna isn't the same…'

A weak smile appears on his lips.

* * *

><p>The first lesson is over and everyone is rushing out of the classroom. Deidara, who only walks calmly, is the last one out. If you don't count the whole Sasori thing, this was a very fun lesson for the blonde. They discussed about old artists, like Leonardo da Vinci and van Gogh, and painted their own version of one the artists' paintings. Deidara had picked a painting with flowers in a vase of van Gogh. He had chosen that one because no one else did and for some reason it spoke to him. He had also become friend with the others. Even if they were a little different he liked them and he think they liked him, but when it comes to Sasori he don't know, they didn't talk to each other once.<p>

"Okay, time for my next lesson" he says happily, really looking forward to it.

But just like this morning, he has no idea where he's supposed to go. He doesn't even know what subject he's supposed to have. He could always ask Itachi and the others... But they are gone... Just like everyone else. It's completely empty in the hallway. The urge to hit his forehead in a locker is hard to resist.

"Wait a minute.., I haven't got my own locker yet" he mumbles to himself.

...

A few hits in a stranger's locker can't hurt.

**Meanwhile**

"It feels like we forgot something" Kisame states while he and the other walk s around on the second floor.

"Like what?" Konan asks, while she's leaning against Pains shoulder.

"I don't know, I just got that feeling."

As the group of teens walks through the hallway of the second floor they start to approach the stair that leads down to the first floor. And the closer they get, the clearer the sound becomes of something that hits a locker. When they reach the stairs they look down and see a blonde boy who hits his head in one of the lockers.

"Oh, that's what we forgot" Kisame says, relieved that he now remember.

"What's he doing?" Tobi asks, pointing at the blonde.

"If I'm not mistaking I think he hits his head in a locker and for some reason he's aiming for Hidans all the time" Itachi answers like it's nothing wrong with it.

"What the hell!" Hidan yells as he runs downs the stair "YO! You fucking blonde, stop it!"

Deidara stops his movements and looks in surprise as Hidan is coming closer and closer. He can feel the danger. The others are just standing and watching from far, until someone steals the attention.

"Where's Sasori?" Pain asks as he looks around.

The others looks around as well and discover that Sasori is not the only one who's gone.

"Where's Itachi?"

Kakuzu is the one to ask. No one knows where they are, they didn't even notice when the two friends disappeared.

* * *

><p>"What's wrong?" Itachi asks, not understanding the redheads' sudden actions.<p>

The two teens are in an empty classroom, the door is locked and the lights are out so no one will think anyone's in there.

"You've known me the longest of all, right?" Sasori asks, staring into Itachis eyes, holding a hard grip on the taller teen's shoulders.

"Yes" Itachi answers shortly "Why?"

"I need to tell you something, something you cannot tell anyone" Sasori states seriously "It's about Deidara."

* * *

><p>I'm sorry for not writing "un" at the end of Deidaras sentences, but I always forget it! I love un, it's cute^^ Okay, I'm sorry for the writing mistakes and please review and tell me what you think and we will see if I continue. What's the point of writing something no one reads :


	4. Chapter 4

It's silent in the room. Sasori who was supposed to tell Itachi something important is now quiet. Instead of forcing the redhead to speak, Itachi just stands there and waits. He knows Sasori hates to make others wait as much as he hates to wait himself, so it shouldn't take very long before he speaks.

"You see…" Sasori begins nervously "Deidara and I… we knew each other when we were kids… We were… best friends…"

You can clearly see in Itachis expressionless face that he couldn't care less.

"That's all?" he asks.

"No, it's not…"

Sasori looks up at the white roof that turns gray in the dark and then back at Itachi.

"Back then… I did something terrible."

* * *

><p>Deidara and Hidan walks up to the others, smiling and laughing.<p>

"Oh my Jashin, I love this guy!" Hidan exclaims as they approach the group "Itachi, you sure can pick the right ones."

"Hidan, he's not here" Kakuzu says, creating an irritated expression on the said teen's face.

"What? I'm giving him a fucking complement and he's not even here?" Hidan yells right up to Kakuzus face.

"That's right" the taller teen states, giving Hidan a serious glare.

Not showing any interest in the glaring contest between the two friends, Deidara starts to look around. Sasori is not there, and even if he is kind of relieved it bothers him.

"Where's Sasori?" he asks the person next to him, which is Zetsu.

"We don't know, but we think he's together with Itachi" the black and white colored teen answers.

His voice goes up and down, becoming light and dark. If Deidara is not mistaken, the boy must be in the puberty.

"Can't we just let them be and go to out next lesson?" Konan asks as she looks up at her boyfriend, pulling his sleeve "I don't want to be late again."

"Why not" Pain answers before he gives her a kiss on the forehead.

"And I think Deidara would appreciate if we helped him a little" Konan says and smiles towards the blonde "He seems to be kind of lost. But it is his first day after all."

"Hehe, yeah…" Deidara laughs nervously "Thanks."

The group starts to move and the blonde follows them like a tail. He don't know what he would do if he lost them again, probably he wouldn't be as lucky as he was this time. As he walks behind them he notices something. It's how they walk. Not the way they walk, it's more like who they walk with. Pain and Konan walks together, Hidan and Kakuzu do the same, and Zetsu and Tobi walks for themselves. Kisame… walks alone…

'I guess he and Itachi would walk with each other' Deidara thinks and looks down at the gray floor 'I wonder… who Sasori walks with…'

Just thinking that name creates an unwelcome feeling inside his chest.

'They aren't the same person! I cannot continue to be sad every time I think of Akasuna, he's not the one who broke my heart. I can't blame him for what happened five years ago. It wasn't his fault..!'

* * *

><p>"What do you mean you did something terrible?" Itachi asks, who for once acting a little bit interested in the conversation.<p>

Sasori takes a deep breath. Even if it's not a big thing for Itachi, it's hard for redhead to talk about it. He has never done it before and to let it out for the first time is difficult.

"I never told him…" Sasori mumbles, not looking at his friend.

"You never told him what?" Itachi asks annoyed over that the redhead really takes his time to tell what happened between him and Deidara.

"I never told him… that I loved him…"

* * *

><p>I know it's very short and I'm sorry for that, but I will try to make the other chapter extra long, maybe… And I stopped here because I love cliffhangers X)<p>

I want to thank everyone who reviewed my story, I really, reeeeeeeally appreciate it^^ And thanks to you who put my story in favorites and all that kind of stuff :D

And it's Christmas today so… Merry Christmas (I hope you're not offended if you don't celebrate Christmas) ! :3 And happy new year, if I'm not back until then ;)


	5. Chapter 5

"Wh-what?"

Itachi is surprised that those words were the ones who escaped the redheads' lips. Sasori have dated lots of girl's, but he never wanted a serious relationship, so he never fell in love with any of them. This is the first time he has said something like that. But still, what's the big deal? He didn't tell Deidara he loved him, so what? What's so terrible with that?

"Well, that came as a shock" Itachi says, trying to cover how surprised he really is "But I don't understand, what's wrong with that?"

"You need to know the whole story to understand what's so terrible" Sasori explains, staring out the window without a curtain, making it to be the only window bringing light to the room.

"Tell me then."

Itachi leans against the wall, giving the impression that he won't let the redhead out of the room until the story is told. Sasori sighs and takes a chair so he can sit down. He takes once again a deep breath, before he begins.

"It happened five years ago. We were best friends and we played every day, we were never bored in the other ones company. It was a fun time. But one day I started to feel weird. When I did things that had no connections to Deidara I felt fine, but every time I saw him, touched him or even thought about him, this strange feeling filled me. Later on, I discovered what it was. It was love. I was falling in love with my best friend, and I was only eleven years old. Eleven! How could I even have such a feeling in such a young age?"

"I don't think that you're age can decide if you're old enough or not to fall in love" Itachi says as he takes another chair and sits down beside the redhead "Love can affect everyone, and there's no rule that tells you if you're too young, or to old, to love."

"Maybe you're right" Sasori, almost, agrees with his friend "Anyway… I wanted to tell him how I felt but I didn't know how to say it. I planned and planned every day how I would do it. It took some time but finally I was ready for it. Unfortunately, my mom had some bad news. She told me that we were moving. It felt like my whole world collapsed, I just couldn't believe it. I was finally going to tell Deidara I loved him, and then my mom said we were moving! I was so pissed, and sad. How could I tell him that I loved him when I was moving? Realizing that it only would hurt us both I decided to not tell him about my feelings. But I still needed to tell him I would move. So one day I called him and asked if we could meet each other because I had something to tell him. It turned out that he also had something to tell me…"

* * *

><p>Deidara stares out of the large window he sits next to. It's math, which is not one of his favorite subjects in school. He's not bad at it, he just doesn't like it. He can't wait till next year when he can decide if he wants to continue with it or not.<p>

"Hey, Deidara, can you please help me?" Konan, who sits on the right side of the blonde, asks as she pokes his right arm with her pencil.

Deidara turns around, facing the boring andcolorless math book.

"I need help with everything on this page" she explains, and puts the book down on the bench.

The blonde reads the first question, thinks and then explains for Konan how to do. She tries to figure it out and when that's done, the whole process starts all over again. Reading, thinking, explaining… Luckily, it takes only few minutes until their done with those terrible no-making-sense questions.

"Wow, thank you Dei" Konan thanks gratefully "You're really good at this."

"I know" Deidara mumbles, sounding like it would be something bad that he's good at math.

"You're such a nice guy, friendly and helpful" Konan praise "I guess the girls from.., where ever you are from, loved you."

Deidara nods slowly, his cheeks turning red.

"I knew it" the girl giggles "I guess you also had lots of girlfriends."

"Actually…" the blonde says, sounding like he's about to forgive his new friend for something bad "I've never had a girlfriend."

Konan blinks several times, staring at Deidara as if he spoke another language.

"What… Not a single one? But the girls loved you, right?"

"Yes, but I didn't like them."

"Didn't you go on any dates with them so you could get to know them better?"

"No, I never wanted to."

"Why not?"

'Because I was too afraid to fall in love' Deidara thinks and looks away, without answering the curious woman 'and I still am.'

The conversation ends and the both teens goes' back to do what they are supposed to do, count.

* * *

><p>"What happened?" Itachi asks, trying not to reveal his curiosity.<p>

"We met" Sasori continues "as we decided. It was a beautiful day, I can remember the blue sky and the pink trees that was surrounding us. At that time I didn't care about how it looked, but now, when I think about it, it was a fantastic day. Until I asked him what he wanted. At first he stuttered, he seemed to be very nervous. And I, with the low tolerance of waiting, ordered him to speak. When I did that, the words flew out of his mouth, fast and low. He said… he loved me."

Itachi lower his gaze, an act of showing empathy and understanding.

"I… I was so shocked. If the situation had been different I would just have thrown myself over him, but I couldn't. He loved me, I loved him, and we loved each other. But I was supposed to move… Everything became so much harder. I couldn't handle it, so I just… walked away. I heard him scream after me and how his footsteps came closer and closer, way too fast for walking. I knew he was running, so I started to run myself. I was faster than him so I got easily away. I hide behind a house so he couldn't see or follow me anymore. It became quiet for a while. Then I heard him whisper, he was whispering my name. His voice was low, shaky and sad. And then… he started to cry. Hearing that almost made my heart break, and I was about to cry too, so I left. I just left him there, to cry alone!"

Sasori almost yells out the last part as a tear falls down his cheek.

"That was the most painful sound I ever heard."

It's silent in the room. The only thing you can hear is Itachi moving his chair closer to Sasori.

"When did you know it was him?" he asks with a caring voice "You didn't seem to recognize him at first."

"I didn't" the redhead answers "You maybe think that I would have recognized him when he said his name or all the other random stuff, but no. I didn't recognize him until he told us about his _art_. I've always hated his opinion, and every time he talks about it I can't help myself, I MUST argue! I seriously _hate _his view of art! _Art__ is the beauty of that single fleeting moment of explosion_, yeah right!"

Sasori almost spits out the last part, as if it would be poison. It's like the sadness, in just one second, has been replaced by pure hatred. The black haired teen stares at him in surprise. But as fast as the hate came, it disappears, and the guilty and sad feelings are back.

"Do you think he remember me?" the redhead asks with a low voice.

"No" Itachi answers short.

"Neither do I…"

"How do you feel? You know, about Deidara. Do you still… love him?"

"…No. It was five years ago, I'm over him."

Itachi watches Sasoris eyes as he speaks, and he can see that they are saying something else. Besides, if you listen carefully, you can hear that he doesn't sound very convincing.

The school bell rings and immediately you can hear random students' footsteps and voices filling the hallways. Sasori and Itachi are a little surprised that the conversation took a whole lesson. But they had math, so it doesn't matter.

"We should go now" Sasori says as he pulls back the chair to the place where he took it.

Itachi nods and pulls back his chair. But before they leave the classroom he has a question he must ask.

"Are you going to tell Deidara about this?"

Sasori, who was about to open the door, turns around and meets his friends serious gaze.

"No" is the answer he gives before he opens the door and leaves he room.

Itachi sighs. He really wonders what that kid is thinking. He guesses that whatever it is, it will not end well.


	6. Chapter 6

Okay, about Sasori having no feelings about Deidara.., was a lie. A fat lie not even the redhead himself could believe in. And he knew Itachi didn't believe him either. He's not a person you can just lie right up in the face and think he will fall for it. But for some reason the both of them are acting as if it's true.

Well, for Deidara, everything's fine. It's been a month since he started at the school and he has told himself to not connect Sasori now and Sasori from five years ago with each other. They aren't the same person, old Sasori is not the young one who hurt him. And besides, he needs to move on. Leave the sad moments behind and move forward!

…Like he hasn't told himself to do that for the past five years.

* * *

><p>"Okay, so Denmark and Norway got defeated by Germany, Finland was attacked by Soviet and Sweden was neutral? Is that really all you know about the Nordics under the Second World War?"<p>

Deidara nods slowly, feeling very, very uncomfortable with his teacher staring at him as if he's denying he ate the last cookie he was told NOT to eat.

"What exactly happened to Finland? Why didn't Sweden get involved in the war in same way as the other Nordic Countries? What's the story behind Denmark and Norway?"

The teachers' talks so fast and intense Deidara thinks she will explode any minute. How can the Nordics history be so important?

The clock is moving slowly, like it always does under the history lessons. He can't talk to his friends because they are sitting far away from him, and he can't watch what they are doing because he sits on the front row. The teacher really hates when you're looking a way that's not directed to the whiteboard, so he can't look back. Besides, he thinks the teacher hates him. It's only when he do something she gets eagle eyes and sees everything.

It's finally twelve o'clock and everyone runs out of the classroom without permission. Well, the teacher doesn't even try to stop them, she gave up a long time ago. Deidara is almost first out, ignoring the persons, which is his friends, calling his name. It's time for lunch and he's really hungry. He heard it was pizza today, and if you want some pizza, you need to hurry.

"Where did Deidara go?" Konan asks, clinging onto Pains arm as always when they walk out of the classroom.

"Do we ever know where he goes after a history lesson?" Kisame states, scratching the back of his head.

"Can't we just forget about him for now and eat? I'm hungry."

Itachi looks at Sasori, who was the one who spoke, with suspicious eyes. He doesn't like this behavior. Why can't Sasori just admit he still likes Deidara? And why can't he tell him the truth? He knows his best friend wants the blonde, but he can't have him until the truth is told. Even if Sasori gets him, Deidara will eventually find out about whom Sasori really is, and then hell will be lose. Seriously, after seeing the blondes' explosive art you DON'T want to piss him of.

Is it that that the redhead is aware of that? And that's why he won't do what his feelings want?

"Idiot" Itachi whispers as quietly as he can "just tell him already! The longer you wait, the worse it will get when he finds out."

* * *

><p>Language, one of Deidaras favorite lessons. He reads Spanish together with Pain, Kisame, Tobi and Itachi. Sasori, Kakuzu and Hidan reads German and Konan and Zetsu reads France. If it weren't for Tobi it would be a very calm hour of learning. He talks a lot and he always has questions. Unfortunately, Deidara is forced to sit beside him.<p>

"Deidara, Deidara! How do I say 'I like'?" the taller boy asks, poking the blondes arm.

Yeah, he sucks at Spanish.

"Seriously Tobi? This is you're second year you're reading Spanish, you should know that!" the blonde answers frustrated and worried about the dark haired boy.

Tobi only smiles and shakes his head.

"God… Okay, fine! It's 'Me gusta'" Deidara answers and sighs, rubbing his forehead with both his hands.

He has nothing against Tobi, it's just that he didn't think someone could be this stupid. Seriously, when they were talking about the human women body in the biology Tobi asked where the prostate was.

"Really?" Tobi says surprised "Thanks! You're so nice, you know that? Me gusta Deidara-Senpai!"

Deidara looks up quickly at Tobi, trying to understand what he just said.

"Senpai?" he says with an asking tone.

"Mm. You're my Senpai because you're so smart and you're always helping me" the black haired boy explains, smiling like there's no tomorrow.

Deidaras cheeks turns red and he looks quickly away, embarrassed. He don't know if it is Tobis smile, the new nickname or the late reaction to the 'Me gusta' part, but he's blushing like an idiot. He hasn't blushed this much since he was eleven.

"Hmm, interesting…"

Itachi sits a few rows behind the two teens, watching them and listening to their conversation. He usually doesn't do that, but this time he happened to hear them. Slowly he takes out his cell phone from his pocket and starts to write a text message, hopping the teacher won't see the phone.

_Guess who likes Deidara…_

When he's done writing the message he sends it to Sasori.

* * *

><p><strong>Hi~! <strong>

**Sorry, I know it's been a while. I don't really have an excuse why I haven't uploaded. Well, I had writer's block… And I was working on a new fanfic and was trying to come up with ideas for my other fanfic, but that's not really an excuse… But at least, here it is. A new, short, chapter :)**

**Please review and tell me your opinion about this fanfic.**

**(Sorry if my English isn't the best…)**


	7. Chapter 7

_[Sasori]_

_Meet me outside. NOW!_

Itachi puts the phone in his pocket and stands up.

"I'm going to toilet" he says and leaves the class room, earning a low "mm" from his teacher who doesn't seem to care.

Itachi didn't send the message to Sasori to be mean, he just wants his friend to stop acting so childish, and face his true feelings. If he won't do that, someone else might take the blonde away. And what will Sasori do? Deny he's sad, but when he's alone he will cry tears like a waterfall and sing along to "Wedding dress"? That's a great song and Itachi can't let his friend destroy it with his terrible voice.

He walks in the corridor, heading for Sasoris classroom. But before he reaches it he can see his friend walk towards him, fast, almost running. It takes just a few seconds before they reach each other, Itachi calm and expressionless as always, while Sasori is angry and his face almost is redder than his hair.

"Tell me who it is!" he yells angrily as he grabs the shirt of his friend "Tell me so I can kick his or hers ass!"

Itachi raises his eyebrows, staring with a serious expression at the slightly shorter boy. The eyes say it all, Sasori can read them like an open book.

"…Tobi…" he mumbles as he lets go of the shirt.

"You may be my best friend, but if you hurt him.., I'm going to kill you" Itachi says with a low, threatening voice, his eyes piercing through the red heads.

"I believe you would. But.., if he touches Deidara, I will defiantly hurt him" Sasori hisses back, trying to sound more threatening than his friend.

As he stands there, staring at Itachi, he makes himself mentally ready for being attacked. But instead, Itachi just stands still and smiles calmly.

"Why are you smiling?" Sasori asks carefully.

Itachi usually don't smile like this, even if it's just weak lifts in the corners of his lips, but that's all it takes to make the shorter teen uncomfortable.

"You have finally done it" the Uchiha says.

"I have finally done what?" Sasori asks confused.

"You have finally admitted that you like Deidara! For both me, and yourself!" Itachi says somewhat proud "Well, you didn't really say it, but I understood it when you acted so overprotective about the blonde and threatened my relative."

Sasoris cheeks turns red and he looks away, embarrassed.

"Well, you always knew that, right?" he asks awkwardly.

Itachi nods. He knew from the start, and he knows Sasori knew that.

"So… why don't you just tell him how you feel, and of course, who you are?"

Sasori is no longer red of embarrassment. Judging by his expression, it seems like he don't like that question.

"What do you think?" he snorts "If I tell him who I am he will probably hate me, and the chance for us to be together will be impossible."

"But if you don't tell him, you two can be together, but it would be like living a lie, which you don't want to, and eventually he would probably find out and it would only be worse that way " Itachi fills in.

"Yeah, that would probably happen… I mean, I ran away from him five years ago and probably broke his heart, and now, five years later, he doesn't recognize me but I recognize him, and I'm not saying anything! That's not a nice thing to do."

"Well… If you just had told him from the beginning it wouldn't be a problem right now."

"Yeah, I know" Sasori admits annoyed and sighs "Damn it, what should I do?"

He put both of his hands in the face and drags them down, the skin from the face following.

"Why don't you ask him out?" Itachi asks bluntly.

Sasori stops his hands and stares at Itachi for a moment before he responds.

"Y-you want me to do what?"

"Well, I don't think you should call it a date, more like two buddies who does something together. I mean, Deidara maybe don't want to go on a date because he isn't in love with you… anymore… right?"

"Of course he isn't. He doesn't even know who I really am."

Sasori couldn't help to sound disappointed when he said that. It hurts a little that the blonde don't recognize him, but it's been five years since they saw each other, so it's understandable. But still…

"But you said it yourself, I don't think its right to ask him out if I'm going to lie about myself" Sasori says, scratching the back of his head.

"Oh no, you aren't going to lie" Itachi says and puts a hand on Sasoris shoulder "You're going to tell the truth."

"WHAT? How am I supposed to-"

"Take it easy" the Uchiha interrupts "Go out and do something he likes to do. When the time comes, tell him. And trust me, you will know when it's time, even if you're not aware of it."

Sasori feels confused. How will he know when it's time if he's not aware of it himself? And what if Deidara would find out during the time they are together, what will he do if that happens?

"I can see you're confused, and nervous, but relax. I will fix this. The only thing you have to think about is to keep Deidara company during the "date" and say you-know-what. Not that you love him, the other thing. Remember, you can't reveal your feelings first. That will just make everything more troublesome. "

"I who thought it couldn't get worse" Sasori says sarcastically.

Itachi looks at the clock on the wall, ignoring his friend. Seeing he's been gone for fifteen minutes, he decides it's time to end the conversation.

"If you excuse me, I have to go back to my class now" he says shortly and turns his back at his friend "I'll text you later."

"Yeah, sure" Sasori mutters as he and Itachi walks away from each other.

* * *

><p>"No Tobi, you can't just tell me to go right and left. You most say that I need to go to the right and then to the left. Just saying right and left will give you an F" Deidara explains as calmly as he can, trying not to shout at the boy beside him.<p>

Tobi has been asking him questions the whole lesson and it's really going on the blondes' nerves. No one can be this stupid! He can't even say how old he is. After almost two years reading Spanish he can't even say that!

"But Tobi don't know how to do" the oldest of the Uchihas whines and it actually looks like he's going to cry any minute.

Itachi enters the classroom and sighs at the sight of his relative. But he ignores that for the moment and walks over to them so he can talk with Deidara.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" he asks with his usual monotone voice.

Deidara nods, glad that he finally can talk to someone other than Tobi.

"Yes. What is it?"

"I'm just wondering if you're busy this weekend."

"Well, I was thinking to go and watch Skillet. They are going have a concert by the park on Saturday. I won two tickets in a competition, but I have no one to go with, so I don't think I will go."

"Well, why don't you ask me, or Tobi, or maybe… Sasori? I think he would like it."

Deidara looks at him suspiciously.

"Why do you suggest that?"

"Well, I have seen the tension between you two, and I think it would be a great idea for you guys to hang out on your own. I'm not saying you and Akasuna are bad friends, because you aren't, but you're friendship could be better."

Itachis voice has changed. It's sound like he's hopeful or something and the bored looks on his face is almost gone... that only makes the blonde more suspicious over the situation. But it doesn't sound that bad. It's maybe fun to hang out with Sasori. And it would be a waste to not use the tickets, even if they were free.

"Okay, I can go with him" Deidara agrees, a little to Itachis surprise.

He didn't think it would be that easy.

"Great, I tell him right away."

Itachis face turns back to look 100% bored, and as he goes back to his own seat he takes once again out his phone.

* * *

><p>Art, the one and only thing Deidara really loves. Besides his mother. This is the only time he can explode his art legally, and he can't be happier that there's actually a place that allows him to do that. While he's working on his art, making a horse out of the clay for a change instead of his usual birds and bugs, Sasori, on the other side of the classroom, is pissed at Itachi. Going to a concert does not appeal him.<p>

"Are you kidding?" he whispers, trying not to sound too much in case Deidara would hear them "You mean I'm going to stand in a crowd full of yelling, singing and dancing strangers? Even if the concert is outside it's going to be hot, and kind of disgusting, squeezing together with random people."

"Relax, it's not that terrible" Itachi whispers back and sighs.

He never thought the redhead would act this childish about the concert. What's his problem? It sounds fun. Actually, it sounds so fun that Itachi almost considering to go with Deidara instead. He has never been at a concert in his whole life, so it would be interesting. Besides, he doesn't even know who or what Skillet is, maybe something he likes.

Meanwhile, the blonde is done with the horse and he's admiring the creation, an animal he have never tried to do before. It looks perfect with all the small details, the tail creating an illusion it's flying around like a leaf in the wind and the position with the head reaching for the sky. It's so white and shiny, totally perfect to blow up.

"Deidara, may I speak with you outside the classroom?"

The blonde looks up from the horse and sees Onoki standing in front of him. He's exactly tall enough to be able to see over the blond's bench.

"Ehm, sure."

Deidara follows Onoki out of the classroom, feeling some eyes staring at him as he leaves.

"Have I done something wrong" he asks anxiously as the teacher closes the door to the classroom.

"No, it's nothing like that" the short, old man answers "I just want you to meet a very special person."

A smiling man in front of them who Deidara didn't notice reaches out his hand. The man has long, black hair, hanging down on his black coat. His skin is pale, almost white and he wears some strange purple eye shadow.

"Hello, my name is Orochimaru. You must be Deidara?"

"Orochimaru…? You mean, one of the world's most famous artists?" Deidara asks amazed as shakes the man's cold hand.

"That's right" the man answers as he gives a small nod "I'm glad you recognize me."

Deidara stares at him with wide eyes. This is one of the most amazing men in the whole wide world, according to Deidara. He have so much he want to ask, but he's speechless.

"Now you probably wondering what I'm doing here, talking to you" Orochimaru says with a hoarse voice and a big smile "You see, I've heard of your strange talent, that is your art, and I must say that I'm very impressed. It's both rare and interesting. So, what I want is to offer you a place in my school, a private school that almost only focusing on art. It's so concentrated on that subject, so we even have real, famous artist teaching. And I, the principal, will guarantee you an education when you graduate, because at my school you're not able to fail."

Deidara have no idea what he should say. Orochimaru himself, one of the biggest artists in this century, is offering him to go in his school! A private school, with real artists as teachers, teaching about art and he have the chance to go there!

"So, what's your answer?" Orochimaru asks, still smiling.

"It sounds great" the blonde answers excited, but then he starts to think of a really big problem, and the joy disappears quickly "It sounds amazing, really, but it's a private school, and I don't think I have money to pay for it..."

"Don't worry about that, I'll fix it for you" Orochimaru insures hastily "I will give you the rare opportunity to go at my school, for free!"

Deidara can't believe what he's hearing. He's offered to go in this kind of school for free?

"So, Deidara, what do you say?"

'What I say?' the blonde thinks, as he starts to fantasize about the school and how amazing it probably is 'How can I possible say no?'

* * *

><p><strong>I'm sorry for all the mistakes in the text.<strong>

**I promised someone to make a longer chapter, and I actually did! But I wanted to upload something today and I wasn't able to finish everything, so I made two chapters instead. Besides, it's been a while since I uploaded something, and it will probably take a while before I'm finished with the next chapter. I can give a SMALL preview to make up for it! I don't know if it's going to sound interesting or not, but here we go:**

"_You wanna tell me what's making you cry like this?" he asks whispering as he strokes the blonde over the hair._

"_You lied" Deidara yells into Sasoris chest and hits him with his fist, not very hard though._

"_I know I did"_

**And now I only have one thing left to say:**

**Grattis på födelsedagen Deidara! Happy birthday!^^**


	8. Chapter 8

It's Saturday night. It is seven o'clock and the sky is already pitch black, but there are no stars, only a lonely full moon. Right now, Deidara is standing in his room, staring into the mirror.

"Should I put all of my hair in a pony tail, or have it released?" he's asking himself while trying to figure out which hairstyle would suit him best for the night.

He examines his body through the mirror, spins around and sighs. His tight, white jeans give him girl legs. The legs look so slim and long, though he still looks short. But why complain, his ass looks nice. Too bad no one can see it because of his black, two sizes to big t-shirt with Pewdiepie on. Not that he want anyone to stare at his butt all night…

He looks at the clock on his bed table. Sasori should be here any minute now. And just when that thought flies through his head, the door bell rings. He's about to call for his mom to open the door, but remembers she's not at home. Where is she? He remembers she said something about meeting some new friends, but that's all. The door bell rings again and now he runs down the stairs. Even though he didn't run very far, he's exhausted when he reaches the door.

"Hi" he greets when he opens the door, trying to breath as normal as he can.

"Hi" Sasori greets back.

He looks at the blonde and blushes. He looks so cute in that big t-shirt with those white, tight jeans. And his hair has really grown, Sasori didn't think it would be this long without the ponytail.

"R-ready to go?"

"Yeah. I'm just going to put on my shoes, and then we can leave."

Sasori nods and Deidara sits down on the floor, putting on his converse.

'Just like when you were a kid' Sasori thinks, smiling a little at the sight.

He have always liked the way Deidara puts on his shoes, it looks so cute.

"Done" the blonde declare as he jumps up on his feet "Shall we go?"

Sasori nods again, still smiling. God, he didn't know he missed this guy so much.

* * *

><p>The walk to the concert is made under silence. It's not awkward, yet not comfortable. Itachi was right, their friendship isn't that good. But at least they aren't enemies. While Sasori is wondering how he will reveal he's the blondes childhood crush, Deidara is wondering how they could be better friends. They are both so deep in their thoughts that they don't even notice the silence. Not until they are getting near the park and some music starts to fill their ears they come back to the reality.<p>

"I can hear them!"

Deidara smiles as wide as possible when he hear the singer sing "Awake and Alive", one of his favorite songs. He starts to run towards the music, while Sasori just stands there, smiling for himself as he's watching him run away. When the blonde discovers he's not followed, he sighs, runs back and grabs Sasori by the hand.

"Don't just stand there, hurry up!" he shouts and drags the stumbling redhead with him.

After leaving their tickets, Deidara forces them to run right into the crowd of strangers who yells and sings along. Sasori would be fine with just standing in the back, but no, Deidara just have to dig through the crowd and stand in the front. When they arrive to that special place with only a few meters to the stage, the song changes and everyone cheers and claps their hands. And exactly when the singer starts to sing, everyone else does the same.

"_~I remember when we used to laugh_

_About nothing at all_

_It was better than going mad~"_

Everyone sings calmly, except from Sasori. To be honest, he has never heard Skillet before. If he didn't know it was a band he would guess it's some kind of dog or something animal related. But he must admit it, they are good.

"_~Stay up late and we'd talk all night_

_In a dark room lit by the TV light~"_

'I wonder when that special moment Itachi was talking about comes' Sasori thinks as he watches Deidara who is totally enchanted by the performance.

* * *

><p>It's been one hour now and the only one who seems to be tired is Sasori. He just stands there, doing nothing besides listening to the music and keeping Deidara company, but he must be the warmest guy in the area. Compared to him the band's sweat is nothing. If this goes on he might pass out.<p>

"Sasori, are you okay?"

He looks down at Deidara, who seem to be worried. One of the blonde's small hands strokes him over the shoulder, slowly and gently. What a nice feeling.

"I'm okay, I'm just a little warm. Really, it's nothing" Sasori explains, smiling as he waves his hand in front of his face.

"You don't look okay."

"I can assure you that I'm perfectly fine" the redhead tries to convince the blonde.

Judging by the look of the smaller boy Sasori can feel how he's failing. Without saying anything, Deidara grabs one of Sasoris arms and starts to drag him out of the crowd. It's hard to get out from there when everyone thinks they are coming to take their places. But the two friends eventually succeed to leave the human herd.

"Deidara, what are you doing?" Sasori asks, also failing with his struggling" Where are we going?"

They are going towards a lake, not very far away from the concert, because you can still hear the music. When they're at the edge of the ground and can't walk further, if they don't want to take a swim, Deidara makes them stand opposite to each other, glaring angrily at Sasori.

"Hey, what's wrong?" the redhead asks concerned, and somewhat confused.

"Sasori, you are sweating like a pig and when I touched your shoulder I could feel you were shaking" Deidara explains rapidly "I could see you weren't okay, so why didn't you just say how it was?"

"I saw you were having so much fun, so I didn't wanna destroy it" is Sasoris answer "And I promise you, it's really nothing."

Deidara looks up, then down, then out to the lake. It's like he's nervous and can't decide what to do or say.

"You don't have to lie, Sasori" he says with a weak voice "You don't have to do that just because you want me to be happy, to make sure I'm always smiling. It's okay to tell me if something's wrong, I promise you. If you don't feel okay, we can talk about it, and solve it together, like a family. Then, hopefully, we can all be happy together."

Sasori stares at the blonde, wondering what the hell he's talking about! It looks like the blondes eyes are empty and they stare at nothing. The red head understands that his thoughts are somewhere else.

"Hey, Deidara, what's wrong?" Sasori asks worried as he grabs the blonde's shoulders and shakes him lightly.

Now the eyes of the blonde becomes watery. He keeps staring at nothing a few more seconds before he slowly looks at Sasori.

"Don't lie, Sasori, don't ever lie to me, please" he begs whispering as his eyes gets blank and shiny "Please!"

"No, no, no, I won't. I-I didn't mean to. I'm sorry, Deidara, I'm so sorry" Sasori apologize as he embraces the blonde just when he starts to cry.

Sasori can't help but think that something's the reason for Deidaras behavior. Who would react like this normally? No one! What was the blonde thinking about? He was saying something about his family and that he wanted them to be happy together… Sasori finds there's no point in asking himself these questions, so he decides to ask Deidara.

"You wanna tell me what's making you cry like this?" he asks whispering as he strokes the blonde over the hair.

"You lied" Deidara yells into Sasoris chest and hits him with his fist, not very hard though.

"I know I did" Sasori whispers so softly he can "But, it must be something else, something you won't tell me…"

Sasori makes space between him and Deidara as he takes his sleeve and dries the tears away from the smaller one's face.

"You wanna tell me?"

* * *

><p>Both of the guys are sitting on the ground, facing the water that reflects the lights from the houses on the other side. Deidara has decided that he will tell Sasori how it is, even if he doesn't feel comfortable with talking about it. He just needs a few minutes to calm himself. Sometimes he opens his mouth to talk but he close it again. Because he's not looking at Sasori, he can't see his irritated face. Waiting is nothing the red head likes. Just when he's about to complain about the painful waiting Deidara once again opens his mouth, and finally he speaks.<p>

"…It was three years ago" he begins carefully "…It was a very special day. My parents were going to marry each other. It was only a few hours before the ceremony and I, together with my parents was sitting in a private room in the church they were going to marry in and talked about some stuff. Suddenly my dad had stood up from the couch he was sitting in and said that he had forgotten two very important things in the car. It was the rings. He excused himself and left the room so he could get them. Me and my mom waited for him, and we waited for a very long time. When it was half an hour left until the wedding would start my mom walked out to go get him. But… he wasn't there, and neither was the car. Mom got worried and tried to call him, but he never answered. She asked the guests if they knew where he was but no one else knew, and in the end, mom had to cancel the wedding because he never came back."

"He left her at their wedding? That's terrible!" Sasori says upset, disgusted by the thought of leaving your own kid and the women you're about to marry, just like that.

"Well, that's not the worst part" the blonde says, sounding like he's about to cry again.

He reaches with one of his hands after one of Sasoris and grabs it, gently holding it. Sasori blushes, but that's nothing Deidara notice.

"Is it okay if I…?" he asks quietly.

"Yes, of course" Sasori answers hasty, blushing even more.

"Thanks" the blonde says gratefully and tries to smile, but the weak smile fades away as he continues to tell "No one could contact dad, so in the end we had to call the police. They came to the church and mom and some of the guests had to answer some questions about dad before they started the investigation. When that was done there was nothing more we could do, nothing more than wait. And we did, for at least a week before the police contacted us again. They came to my house and talked to my mom. Even if I wasn't allowed to hear the conversation I was eavesdropping. They said that they had found dad in a motel outside the city a-and that he w-was…"

Deidara's voice gets shaky and he tries to take deep breaths to calm himself. He looks at his own hands that's holding Sasoris, seeing how white they are because of his hard grip.

"The…they said he was d-dead" he says, trying to not let out his crying voice as tears runs down his face "He… had hanged himself."

Without thinking Sasori drags Deidara against him and holds the blonde tight. The arms around the back and his head against the smaller boys shoulder.

"I'm so sorry" he whispers, trying to comfort the blonde even though he don't know how to fo in this situation.

While regretting he asked Deidara to tell this he can feel the arms of the blonde gently embrace him. At first he's shocked and he can't help to blush a little, but for now he can leave the attractions for Deidara on the side. And there they stand for a while, only holding each other in silence.

'_Don't ever lie to me_' are the words going through Sasoris head over and over again as he hugs the blonde tighter 'I'm sorry Deidara, but that's too late.'

"_~…for your attention_

_You don't even know my name~"_

'Wait a second.., I know this song' the redhead discovers as Skillet once again interrupt their silence.

For a brief moment he had forgotten they had come here for a concert.

"_~…I could be the one to hold you~"_

"~Every single day, I find it hard to say, I could be yours alone~" Sasori sings along quietly as he leans his cheek against the blonde's head.

Deidara's grip around Sasori's body gets tighter, but the red head don't know if it's because the blonde can hear him or not. Not caring about which one it is he continues to sing along to the song, quiet while he's embracing the other one.

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><p><strong>Songs used in this fanfic:<strong>

Skillet:

_Awake and Alive_

_Those Nights_

_Yours to hold_

**A few of my favorite songs… I love Skillet!**

**If you don't know who Pewdiepie is, go check him out on youtube^^**

**Sorry if this chapter feels rushed but… that's how it is. And I haven't read through this chapter so carefully… But I think I'm able to do some kind of yaoi in the next chapter, if you want me too…**

**Guess whose birthday it is today (25/5) …... Mine! And guess what. I had Akatsuki on my cake X3 I got sad when I had to cut it :( But it tasted good!**

**And tomorrow it is Eurovision! GO SWEDEN! I will be really sad if we won't reach top three because I think our song is really good. I actually liked Finland's song, but it didn't make it to the finals :( Cute that it was in Swedish ;p**

**As always, I'm sorry for my bad writing. English is not that easy…**


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